The Golden Year

In three hours, the date will change to October 24, and I will officially be 24 years old.

24 on the 24th-- I'm told this is my "golden year" and that only good can come from it.
My instant reaction to hearing this is I sure as hell hope so.

I feel like the last few years have been a whirlwind and the last few months especially, have been quite possibly the most difficult that I can remember. Perhaps it is because I finally started to experience loss and truly grieve it. Perhaps it is because I have never felt more out of control. Or perhaps it's because I now know that my life is up to me, and only me, and that is scary beyond belief.

I am writing this post as an accountability piece; to hold myself to experiencing true emotion, good or bad; to pull myself up when I am down, even if it feels like I am crawling through quick sand; to trust my powerful intuition and to be vulnerable with my heart while doing so; to never attempt to put my life's choices into the hands of others and to believe in my strength, courage, and confidence. Last but not least, I promise to practice forgiving myself by first beginning to feel. Sometimes the only way to retreat to ourselves is to go numb, be shocked with pain, and then allow ourselves the permission to heal. 

24, I'm ready for you. I hear that healing can ignite a spark within; I'm hoping it turns to gold.